Once a novel has been accepted for publication, one of the tasks generally left to the author is creating the "blurb" that will go on the back of the book. Other than the cover (because, contrary to popular opinion, many people do judge the book by what they see on the front!), the blurb is the most critical component of persuading people to buy your book. You have one paragraph, maybe two, to set the hook and persuade a total stranger that your story is worth spending their hard-earned money on. A poorly written blurb can turn readers away from a perfectly wonderful story; a compelling blurb can sometimes sell a bad book. The choices are intimidating. How much of the story do you want to give away? Should you go for short and punchy, or try to explain your plot a bit more fully?
PRESIDENT HAMILTON isn't my first rodeo. I have five novels already in print, all of which have gotten excellent reviews. I've written some blurbs I'm proud of and a couple I wish I'd taken another run at before submitting. For my last three books, I have composed two or three different version of the blurb and let my family, friends, students, and co-workers take a look at them and tell me which ones they liked. So, for my latest work, I came up with these three options:
On July 11, 1804, a single bullet changed the course of U.S.
BUT
NOT IN THE WAY YOU THINK!
After nearly perishing
from an infected bullet wound suffered in his duel with Vice President Aaron
Burr, Alexander Hamilton returns to politics. A vision of the future compels
him to dare anything and everything to stop the spread of slavery in the young
United States, and fight for its abolition in the states where it already exists. He sets his eyes on the Senate, and then the
White House, enlisting former allies and reconciling with old enemies in his
quest to become President and crush slavery.
Overcoming incredible odds, facing down
enemies at home and abroad, Hamilton moves with steadfast perseverance towards
his goal – to prevent the Civil War he has foreseen by removing its cause in
advance. But there are some who will
stop at nothing to derail President Hamilton’s crusade for liberty. Will they succeed? Can one man change the
course of history?
PRESIDENT HAMILTON will take you on
a thrilling ride through a history of America that never was, but could have
been, and answers the question of how much he could have done - if he’d only
had time.
This blurb had an interesting history. My beta reader Ellie, whose advice means a great deal to me, hated this one. When I submitted it to a couple of Hamilton forums online, most readers didn't like the copy, although several said the tagline was very effective. But when I let my students read all three of these, this one was their overwhelming favorite. The other two versions got maybe a dozen votes between them, this one over 80. I think what sold it was the last line, which links it to the HAMILTON musical. But I wasn't sure of the legality of using such a direct link, and I thought the first paragraph was rather weak. Still, it was hard to ignore such a "strong popular vote" among the teens who, admittedly, are a big part of my target audience.
What if the
most famous duel in history . . .
Had ended
differently?
Alexander Hamilton lies
wounded and feverish after a deadly duel that ended the life of Vice President
Burr. As he hovers near death, he
catches a glimpse of what lies ahead for his country – and sees a Civil War
that will consume a generation and poison America’s future. Upon his recovery, Hamilton returns to
politics with a new vision that compels him to risk everything to achieve his
goal – to stop the spread of slavery and prevent the horrors he has foreseen.
Making new allies and reconciling
with old enemies, Hamilton is filled with a new sense of purpose, determined to
use the powers of the Presidency to save his adopted country from the peril it
faces. Many Americans join him on his
crusade for liberty, but others will stop at nothing to protect the “peculiar
institution.” Can President Hamilton change
history?
PRESIDENT HAMILTON will show you the
Founding Fathers and their successors in a whole new light as you join them in
a thrilling battle for the future – and the very soul – of America!
ONE BULLET
CHANGED THE WORLD
What if the duel with Aaron Burr was
the beginning of Alexander Hamilton’s political odyssey, instead of its
conclusion? After nearly dying from an
infected bullet wound, Hamilton returns to politics with a new purpose, derived
from a fevered vision of America’s future.
Determined to prevent a civil war that will consume hundreds of
thousands of lives and poison the nation’s future, Alex re-enters politics and
launches a bid for the Presidency.
Mending fences with old enemies and rekindling former friendships,
Hamilton uses every political stratagem he knows, and invents some new ones
along the way, all focused on stopping the spread of slavery into America’s new
territories and rolling it back where it already exists.
I originally wrote only the first two versions, but after sleeping on it and thinking about it, I put this one together. Several of my students and co-workers liked the fact that I mentioned some of the founders who are characters in my story; but others pointed out that the tag line was a bit . . . brutal, perhaps? As I re-read it and looked at the comments that people made, I came to see that the first paragraph was a bit too wordy. However, my friend and co-worker Tom Witt made the best suggestion of them all. He wrote a question beneath the tag line that summed up the heart of my story so effectively that I read it and let out an involuntary Sheldon Cooper "Bazinga!" on the spot! So after mulling over all three versions, reading all the comments, and discussing things online, I came up with the final version of my blurb:
On July 11, 1804, a single bullet changed the course
of American history . . .
BUT WHAT IF IT DIDN’T?
Alexander Hamilton lies wounded and feverish after a deadly duel that ended the life of Vice President Burr. Hovering near death, he catches a glimpse of what lies ahead – and sees a Civil War that will consume a generation and poison America’s future. This vision compels him to return to the political arena. He sets his eyes on the Senate, and then the White House, enlisting former allies and reconciling with old enemies in his quest to become President and crush slavery. Overcoming great odds while facing down enemies at home and abroad, Hamilton moves steadily toward his goal - but there are some who will stop at nothing to derail the President’s crusade for liberty. Will they succeed?
PRESIDENT HAMILTON reintroduces us to the founding generation – the brilliant, crafty Thomas Jefferson, the diminutive genius James Madison, and professional curmudgeon John Adams – and brings on the next generation of American leaders – Henry Clay, John C. Calhoun, John Quincy Adams, and Andrew Jackson – in a lively epic of alternative history that begins with the famous duel at Weehawken and rewrites the history of the 19th century. Can Hamilton persuade the Southern states to change their course? Can his powers of persuasion move the conscience of a nation? Can one man change history?
Turn the page and
see. . .
I put this version online for commentary and got universally positive feedback, plus a couple of minor grammatical corrections that made it smoother and more compelling. The more I read over this one, the better I liked it. It combined the best elements of all three versions, and included Tom's brilliant question in the tag line. After letting it set for a few days, I read it again to make sure I was truly satisfied with this version, and then sent it off to my publisher. Now comes the hardest part . . . waiting. July 6 can't get here soon enough!!!
In the meantime, as I mentioned earlier, I do have five other titles in print. Feel free to surf on over to Amazon and check them out!
https://www.amazon.com/s?i=stripbooks&rh=p_27%3ALewis+Ben+Smith&s=relevancerank&text=Lewis+Ben+Smith&ref=dp_byline_sr_book_1
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