When I was a boy, I was very fond of the comic strip PEANUTS. I had several books of the compiled daily strips, and one of my favorites was entitled SUMMERS FLY, WINTERS WALK, CHARLIE BROWN! At the time I didn't really appreciate just how true that could be. After all, when you are a kid, three months of summer vacation are FOREVER. The days stretch out, packed with adventure and activity, and the milestones - family vacation time, fishing, riding your bicycle everywhere under the sun, Vacation Bible School if you are a church kid like I was, afternoons at the movies - by the time summer ends, you're almost ready for school to start so you can get some rest!
Now, before anyone interjects, I fully recognize that most adults work all summer long, with only a brief week or two where they can pack in a vacation. I am blessed beyond measure that, as a teacher, I can actually be off work from the last week of May through mid-August. (Technically, though, I'm not really OFF work - just working harder at my other occupations!) So I'm not at all ungrateful for having this time off every year, but at the same time - MAN! that time flies! So as I sit down here to update my blog for the first time in a couple of weeks, I thought I would take stock of what I did with the time I had.
Of course, as an author, book signings are the most effective way to get your name and your titles out there, so I tried to book as many of those events as I could into the summer months. There simply is no substitute for personal appearances, where you can put a face with your name and personally invite people to buy your books. And I did a LOT of that! Looking back over my calendar ap, I did nine bookstore events, plus three artifact shows where I sold books from my table, and spoke at three different churches and sold books there as well. That translated to 115 books that I personally sold this summer, not counting my online sales from Amazon and my website (I won't know about those until I get my summer royalty check this fall). I'm still not where I wish I was - let's be honest, I'd LOVE to have sales like Stephen King or John Grisham - but hey, I'll take it! (And, of course, if you are reading this, feel free to help me bump up those numbers by ordering my books at the link I'll provide at the end of this column!) Also, I have four more signing events coming up in August, so check the "Meet Lewis" page on my website to see if I'll be coming to your neck of the woods!
Summer is also "me" time. And for me, that always means arrowhead hunting! My hunting pace has slowed to a crawl compared to previous years - partly because my local hunting conditions are so very sparse, and partly because I am spending so much time promoting my books. I went on my first hunt of the summer on Memorial Day, up to the river, and found one of the most memorable artifacts I have ever picked up (I chronicled that hunt here back in May, if you are interested in reading about it). I made a return trip to the river, a couple of weeks later, but we got rained out before we could find much of anything. I also made two trips down to Limestone County, TX, my favorite hunting ground, and found nine points the first time and four the second, but then my trust old tub, the Water Turkey, began having engine trouble and has languished in the shop ever since. As soon as they get the parts in, though, we'll be hitting the water again in quest of Indian relics. I still have a couple of weeks left!
Artifact shows are another enjoyable part of my summer routine. For years my friend Ray and I have hosted a show of our own, however, this summer we just weren't able to put it together - I was too busy and he was too sick. We will try to do it next year, I guess. However, I did pack up four tables' worth of relics and head down to Temple, TX for the biggest arrowhead show in Texas, during the first weekend of June. I took my wife along and we had a lovely time - I did some buying and selling of relics and also sold a big old pile of my books, and just thoroughly enjoyed walking around and staring at some of the finest Indian artifacts ever collected in North America. After the show we drove down to Austin the next morning and I did a book signing there, and then enjoyed a nice leisurely drive back. There were also two shows this summer and spring in Midlothian, TX - an excellent little show hosted by my friend Harold Hughes. In a way, I enjoy it more than Temple because I can actually get around and see ALL the tables, since there are only 35 of them, instead of spinning my wheels trying to take in 250 tables of relics at the huge Temple show.
You can't talk about summer in Texas without mentioning the weather. The past few summers around here have been relatively mild - most days in the 90's, with nights in the 70's - in other words, certainly warm and downright hot in the afternoons, but not miserable. Well, this year we jumped back into the patterns of the previous decade. So far we have had 21 hundred degree days, and one particularly brutal Sunday a week or two back it jumped up to 109. Folks, that I is just plain HOT, no matter what part of the country you are from! Needless to say, that thoroughly curtails any outdoor activity that does not involve getting in the water.
Since we are full time caretakers for my mother-in-law, who is now 90, it's very hard for us to get away for more than a few days at a time. But this past weekend we did combine a book signing in Houston with a chance to sneak down to Galveston for a couple of days, and had a wonderful time! We got to visit with my sister, I sold a few books Saturday, and then Sunday was a glorious day of rest and leisure - walking on the beach, enjoying fresh Gulf seafood, touring a museum, and just relaxing without worrying about whose night it was to stay up with Dorothy, or having to listen to the incessant yapping of her beast Allie, the world's most annoying dog! Few things are more therapeutic than the sound of the waves rolling in and the cry of seagulls over the water.
What else did I do with summer? I finished the musical I was working on, about Theodore Roosevelt - I have no idea if I will ever do anything with it, but I had fun writing it and felt a real sense of accomplishment when it was finished. I began writing, with my friend Holly Rice, a screenplay based on my novel THE TESTIMONIUM - we're hoping to turn it into a feature film at some point! I also resumed work on my long-delayed novel THE EMPEROR AND THE APOSTLE, and I will have it finished very soon - I plan to start working on the final chapter this afternoon. Then there was the YouTube channel that we just launched, with Holly doing the filming. What else? We celebrated the Fourth of July with fireworks and a grass fire (which, I will note, was NOT started by our fireworks!), we had my wife's brother over for a visit and spent time with his family, we did a few minor projects around the house, and all the usual chores that go with adulthood.
All in all, it's been a remarkably busy summer as well as a fun one. In fact, looking back over this column, I am reminded of another comic strip I love, CALVIN AND HOBBES. One of their jumbo anthologies was also about summer vacation, and its title pretty well could stand as a memorial to this marvelous, crazy hot, busy but relaxing season: THE DAYS ARE JUST PACKED!
Now the crazy month of August lies ahead, with a couple of weeks to try and pack in as much activity as I can before resuming my classroom duties on the 22nd. More book signings, hopefully a day or two on the lake with the Water Turkey, helping my wife unpack and set up her new classroom - summer's not over yet, but the end is in sight! Now, if you want to spice up what's left of your summer with a good book and help support your favorite blogger in the process, you can order my books directly off my website, or on Amazon if you prefer to get them there:
www.lewisbensmith.com
https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=dp_byline_sr_book_1?ie=UTF8&text=Lewis+Ben+Smith&search-alias=books&field-author=Lewis+Ben+Smith&sort=relevancerank
And please don't forget, if you have read my books, to swing by online and leave me a review on Amazon! Good reviews mean a lot. Thanks, as always, for reading this, and enjoy whatever it is you do with your upcoming month of August!
Tuesday, July 31, 2018
Sunday, July 15, 2018
Opening Doors: How I Went From the Pulpit to YouTube!
"You're going to have to decide - does God want you to be an author, or a pastor?"
My wife had a point. At this time a year ago, I had written several books, but was struggling to get them noticed outside of our local community and social circle. They had all earned great reviews from readers, but just weren't selling much. The problem was, I was wearing too many hats, doing too many things, and trying to do all of them well. I was (and am) a full time teacher at a small Christian school, instructing in seven different subjects in the fall and six in the spring, plus a night class one night a week at the local community college. Patty and I were also, with the help of our two daughters, providing 24 hour care for her aging mother, and trying to run a small goat ranch. There was also my writing, doing book signings on Saturdays, and my occasional attempts to get out of the house and go down to the river and look for arrowheads, just to clear my head and have some relaxation.
Then there was the church. I had said eight years ago that I didn't think I could do justice to a church as pastor and teach school at the same time, but I continued to do some pulpit supply and interim work. Then a small church called me to preach one Sunday. Then they asked me if I could come and preach one Sunday a month. Then they asked if they could refer to me as their pastor "for official records and such." And, sure enough, within a year, I was preaching there every single Sunday. It was a good little country church with nice people, and we grew. We moved into a new location. We baptized new members. We saw most of our youth grow up and graduate, and new children come in to the church with their parents. I started my writing career during this time, and published one book after another for three years straight. We were busy, but not frantic. It was pretty good for a while.
But then Patty's Mom began to need more and more care. Matt, one of our most active church members, who directed much of our visitation and outreach, died. We had some drama and folks left. My Dad's health began to slide. The church needed more of my time at a point when I was ill equipped to give it - but at the same time, I didn't want to walk away when there were so many needs to be met. But was I really helping the church by staying on when I could not give them the time and attention that they needed? Was I really serving God more effectively by preaching to the same 20 people every Sunday, or by writing faith-based books that had the potential to reach thousands if not millions with a message of hope and redemption? After a lot of prayer and soul-searching, over Christmas I made up my mind. I would announce my departure in the spring, cutting my ties with my church and pouring as much effort as I could into my writing.
When I told my wife, she said: "About time! I've been afraid you were going to kill yourself by trying to do so much. You really needed to let something go."
I agreed, but I still worried if I was doing the right thing. So I prayed to God to show me if I was going the way He wanted. And that is when the doors began to open!
In January I was doing a book signing at Half Price Books in McKinney when an older gentleman named Dan stopped by my table. In between my sales pitches, he began to talk to me. He was a professional publicist and marketing expert, and we talked off and on for a half an hour. He never did buy a book, but he complimented my novels, my cover art, and my willingness to engage people and plug my works. As he left the store, he gave me a card and said: "I would like to help you out, so drop me an email sometime."
To be honest, I really figured that Dan was trying to sign me on as a client, and was a bit wary - but at the same time, one email couldn't hurt, right? So I emailed him a couple days later, and got a friendly response. At the end, he said: "Let me get February done, I'm stacked up right now, but then we can meet sometime for lunch. I like you, I like what you are trying to do, and I want to help you promote your books."
So in March, we met for brunch at a sidewalk café in McKinney. I brought my wife, and Dan brought his sister. Our conversation began something like this:
Dan: "I want to get one thing out front. I simply cannot take you on as a client right now; I have too many projects going at once."
Me: "Good, because I wanted to get one thing out front, too: I have absolutely no money to pay you!"
We laughed, and then talked for an hour and a half. Besides some incredibly solid marketing advice (some I had heard before, some I had not), Dan also made me an astonishing offer at the end of our time together: "When you get the cover art for your next book ready, send it to me - along with the covers for the other ones. I am going to design you some nice, professional brochures and print you up a thousand of them. Actually, I think I'll print five thousand!"
That blew my mind. FIVE THOUSAND professionally designed, colored brochures for free? But, when we finished designing the cover of THE GNOSTIC LIBRARY, I sent it to him, along with the cover art and synopses for my other stories - and sure enough, a few weeks later I received a PDF file of these beautiful brochures! Not only that, Dan also designed a website for me, set the whole thing up, and taught me how to add new appearances to the "Coming Events" page. All of this, and the only thing I was ever asked to pay for was the website's annual hosting fee.
Dan also asked me for a bio to go on the website, and I wrote one. It was kind of stiff and awkward, and he kindly said: "You really ought to get somebody else to write this for you; someone who knows you well." My wife, of course, knows me better than anyone - the problem is, she knows me TOO well! So I asked my close friend and beta reader Ellie to take a stab at it, and she wrote a wonderful bio which I sent to Dan. He took one look and said: "This is spot on!" So he used it on the brochures, and on the website.
So by April, right after I announced my resignation to the church, I had a professionally designed website AND five thousand brochures to promote my books. But God wasn't done yet! Shortly after I left the church, I ran into a friend of mine, a local filmmaker named Holly Rice. She told me: "I just finished reading THE TESTIMONIUM, and I think it would make a fantastic movie. Would you be willing to collaborate with me on a screenplay?"
So at the beginning of summer, we began to bounce scenes and scripts back and forth with each other. Then one day we came up with the idea of creating a YouTube channel! Next thing I know, I have Holly and a former student of mine, Austin Thomas, who is becoming something of a YouTube rock star himself, following me up to the Sulphur River to film the first couple of episodes. Today the YouTube channel is launched - and, might I add, our first video is pretty amazing, more due to Holly's skill with a camera than to any ability on my part. In our first three days online, we have 51 subscribers and nearly 500 views! Lots more episodes to come over the next few months, too, as we continue to work on our screenplay and film new episodes whenever we get the chance.
In short, ever since I made my decision in December, one door after another has opened before me. I don't really know where we are going to wind up, but God is good. He is leading, and I continue to follow. I am close to completing my sixth novel, I have book signing events every weekend through the end of August, and as I visit different churches, I find myself being invited to come and give my testimony and talk about my books and their message. Feature film? YouTube star? Inspirational writer? Maybe all these things, maybe none. But wherever my journey takes me, I am grateful for all the people God has put in my path, who are helping me along the way - especially to Dan and Holly for their amazing talents, to my lovely wife, Patty, who has been such a tireless encourager, and to all those who buy and read my books. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart!
Now - check out my awesome website!
www.lewisbensmith.com
My wife had a point. At this time a year ago, I had written several books, but was struggling to get them noticed outside of our local community and social circle. They had all earned great reviews from readers, but just weren't selling much. The problem was, I was wearing too many hats, doing too many things, and trying to do all of them well. I was (and am) a full time teacher at a small Christian school, instructing in seven different subjects in the fall and six in the spring, plus a night class one night a week at the local community college. Patty and I were also, with the help of our two daughters, providing 24 hour care for her aging mother, and trying to run a small goat ranch. There was also my writing, doing book signings on Saturdays, and my occasional attempts to get out of the house and go down to the river and look for arrowheads, just to clear my head and have some relaxation.
Then there was the church. I had said eight years ago that I didn't think I could do justice to a church as pastor and teach school at the same time, but I continued to do some pulpit supply and interim work. Then a small church called me to preach one Sunday. Then they asked me if I could come and preach one Sunday a month. Then they asked if they could refer to me as their pastor "for official records and such." And, sure enough, within a year, I was preaching there every single Sunday. It was a good little country church with nice people, and we grew. We moved into a new location. We baptized new members. We saw most of our youth grow up and graduate, and new children come in to the church with their parents. I started my writing career during this time, and published one book after another for three years straight. We were busy, but not frantic. It was pretty good for a while.
But then Patty's Mom began to need more and more care. Matt, one of our most active church members, who directed much of our visitation and outreach, died. We had some drama and folks left. My Dad's health began to slide. The church needed more of my time at a point when I was ill equipped to give it - but at the same time, I didn't want to walk away when there were so many needs to be met. But was I really helping the church by staying on when I could not give them the time and attention that they needed? Was I really serving God more effectively by preaching to the same 20 people every Sunday, or by writing faith-based books that had the potential to reach thousands if not millions with a message of hope and redemption? After a lot of prayer and soul-searching, over Christmas I made up my mind. I would announce my departure in the spring, cutting my ties with my church and pouring as much effort as I could into my writing.
When I told my wife, she said: "About time! I've been afraid you were going to kill yourself by trying to do so much. You really needed to let something go."
I agreed, but I still worried if I was doing the right thing. So I prayed to God to show me if I was going the way He wanted. And that is when the doors began to open!
In January I was doing a book signing at Half Price Books in McKinney when an older gentleman named Dan stopped by my table. In between my sales pitches, he began to talk to me. He was a professional publicist and marketing expert, and we talked off and on for a half an hour. He never did buy a book, but he complimented my novels, my cover art, and my willingness to engage people and plug my works. As he left the store, he gave me a card and said: "I would like to help you out, so drop me an email sometime."
To be honest, I really figured that Dan was trying to sign me on as a client, and was a bit wary - but at the same time, one email couldn't hurt, right? So I emailed him a couple days later, and got a friendly response. At the end, he said: "Let me get February done, I'm stacked up right now, but then we can meet sometime for lunch. I like you, I like what you are trying to do, and I want to help you promote your books."
So in March, we met for brunch at a sidewalk café in McKinney. I brought my wife, and Dan brought his sister. Our conversation began something like this:
Dan: "I want to get one thing out front. I simply cannot take you on as a client right now; I have too many projects going at once."
Me: "Good, because I wanted to get one thing out front, too: I have absolutely no money to pay you!"
We laughed, and then talked for an hour and a half. Besides some incredibly solid marketing advice (some I had heard before, some I had not), Dan also made me an astonishing offer at the end of our time together: "When you get the cover art for your next book ready, send it to me - along with the covers for the other ones. I am going to design you some nice, professional brochures and print you up a thousand of them. Actually, I think I'll print five thousand!"
That blew my mind. FIVE THOUSAND professionally designed, colored brochures for free? But, when we finished designing the cover of THE GNOSTIC LIBRARY, I sent it to him, along with the cover art and synopses for my other stories - and sure enough, a few weeks later I received a PDF file of these beautiful brochures! Not only that, Dan also designed a website for me, set the whole thing up, and taught me how to add new appearances to the "Coming Events" page. All of this, and the only thing I was ever asked to pay for was the website's annual hosting fee.
Dan also asked me for a bio to go on the website, and I wrote one. It was kind of stiff and awkward, and he kindly said: "You really ought to get somebody else to write this for you; someone who knows you well." My wife, of course, knows me better than anyone - the problem is, she knows me TOO well! So I asked my close friend and beta reader Ellie to take a stab at it, and she wrote a wonderful bio which I sent to Dan. He took one look and said: "This is spot on!" So he used it on the brochures, and on the website.
So by April, right after I announced my resignation to the church, I had a professionally designed website AND five thousand brochures to promote my books. But God wasn't done yet! Shortly after I left the church, I ran into a friend of mine, a local filmmaker named Holly Rice. She told me: "I just finished reading THE TESTIMONIUM, and I think it would make a fantastic movie. Would you be willing to collaborate with me on a screenplay?"
So at the beginning of summer, we began to bounce scenes and scripts back and forth with each other. Then one day we came up with the idea of creating a YouTube channel! Next thing I know, I have Holly and a former student of mine, Austin Thomas, who is becoming something of a YouTube rock star himself, following me up to the Sulphur River to film the first couple of episodes. Today the YouTube channel is launched - and, might I add, our first video is pretty amazing, more due to Holly's skill with a camera than to any ability on my part. In our first three days online, we have 51 subscribers and nearly 500 views! Lots more episodes to come over the next few months, too, as we continue to work on our screenplay and film new episodes whenever we get the chance.
In short, ever since I made my decision in December, one door after another has opened before me. I don't really know where we are going to wind up, but God is good. He is leading, and I continue to follow. I am close to completing my sixth novel, I have book signing events every weekend through the end of August, and as I visit different churches, I find myself being invited to come and give my testimony and talk about my books and their message. Feature film? YouTube star? Inspirational writer? Maybe all these things, maybe none. But wherever my journey takes me, I am grateful for all the people God has put in my path, who are helping me along the way - especially to Dan and Holly for their amazing talents, to my lovely wife, Patty, who has been such a tireless encourager, and to all those who buy and read my books. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart!
Now - check out my awesome website!
www.lewisbensmith.com
Thursday, July 5, 2018
From TR: The Musical - SECOND TERM BLUR
One thing that was so fun about creating this libretto is the subject himself!
Theodore Roosevelt was never supposed to be President. A crusading reformer as governor of New York, he had been nominated for the Vice Presidency in a move to politically neuter him! But President McKinley's assassination elevated him to the White House, and he was so effective (and so popular!) that the GOP had no choice but to nominate him for a term of his own in 1904. The Party's Old Guard didn't like him, but the Progressive wing of the party found in him a tireless champion. Having voluntarily limited himself to two terms (the 22nd Amendment would not pass for another fifty years), Roosevelt knew he had to hit the ground running in his second term - and that is exactly what he did!
Theodore Roosevelt was never supposed to be President. A crusading reformer as governor of New York, he had been nominated for the Vice Presidency in a move to politically neuter him! But President McKinley's assassination elevated him to the White House, and he was so effective (and so popular!) that the GOP had no choice but to nominate him for a term of his own in 1904. The Party's Old Guard didn't like him, but the Progressive wing of the party found in him a tireless champion. Having voluntarily limited himself to two terms (the 22nd Amendment would not pass for another fifty years), Roosevelt knew he had to hit the ground running in his second term - and that is exactly what he did!
SECOND TERM BLUR
TR: (Standing on a balcony,
hand on the Bible, facing the Chief Justice)
I will faithfully
execute the office of the Presidency of the United States, so help me God!
Are we done? Thanks! For now I must needs walk where
giants before me trod!
(turns to face
audience)
My fellow
Americans, it is a thrill to stand before you all today!
A second term, a
term of my own – you gave me this thing for which I prayed.
Four years is an
eternity if you spend it waiting for something that you dream of –
But it passes in
an instant when the dream is real and you are doing what you love!
So forgive me on
this fine March day if I cut my inaugural speech short –
So much to do, so
little time! You can read the papers for
a full report!
(He turns and
enters the White House, striding down the hall to the Oval Office)
Gentlemen of my
cabinet, the clear cutting of our woodlands makes me nervous,
So I propose to
Congress that we create a Federal Forestry service.
Let’s set aside a
few million acres of our proud and ancient trees,
In National
Forests, to be enjoyed by our grandchildren in future centuries.
Next, it’s been
brought to my attention that Standard Oil is up to its old tricks;
Undercutting
competition, bribing legislators, and making customers feel the prick!
So let’s shake the
dust off of the good old Sherman Anti-Trust Act,
Slap them with an
indictment, and watch J.D. Rockefeller react!
Nothing warms my
heart more than to see the fat cats squirming
With their hands
caught in the cookie jar, and public anger burning!
Remember, folks, that I have nothing against good, honest business –
Remember, folks, that I have nothing against good, honest business –
But when companies
turn all predatory, I’ll act with vengeful swiftness!
Railroads,
bankers, oil men, all these industries serve their purpose –
They keep the
country going and provide the public valuable service.
But why can’t
these men just be content to earn a decent profit?
How can they gouge
the hardworking poor and not see the evil of it?
So government must
be the watchdog, protector, and defender of the public –
And the President
must always speak justice from this magnificent bully pulpit!
Alice: Speaking justice was what
my father did, even when too few would listen –
Later generations
who never knew him had no idea what they were missin’!
That second term
was full of problems, and one tragic loss to boot –
Secretary John Hay
finally died, and Dad replaced him with Elihu Root.
Things were also
getting much tenser on the international scene –
The Far East had
erupted in the bloodiest war that region had ever seen!
The Russian fleet
got caught by surprise in a Japanese sneak attack –
And the Tsar sent
his Baltic ships around the world on a voyage to strike back.
The Japanese were
waiting for them at the Battle of Tsushima Straits –
And the Russian
fleet went down in total defeat on that infamous date!
Then the war
ground down to a bloody stalemate, neither side could win –
That was the point
at which they asked “President Teddy” to step in!
TR:
(seated
at a conference table with the Japanese and Russian emissaries)
Gentlemen, thank
you for agreeing to meet me here in Portsmouth, Maine –
I think that we
can agree that this awful war has caused you both sufficient pain!
So since you have
both asked me in good faith if I would arbitrate,
I ask you now to
sit together, and put aside your mutual hate.
What does Japan
seek to gain? On the sea you have the upper hand,
But Russia’s
armies are hard to beat, and you’ve reached a stalemate on the land.
Sec.
Root: The two adversaries wrangled and argued for a several
days more;
Each hoping to
gain enough to claim they’d got what they were fighting for!
But when all was
said and done and the negotiations were completed,
The Treaty of
Portsmouth was signed, and the Russians were defeated!
The Tsar was
forced to reform his monarchy and give the people more power –
But President
Roosevelt now became the hero of the hour!
When the peace
conference ended, the whole world was surprised
That the Nobel
Committee gave Roosevelt its coveted Peace Prize!
TR:
That
was certainly a great honor, but I dared not stop to relax –
Time was ticking ,
ticking, ticking and I still had more proposed acts!
My friend Upton
Sinclair had gone undercover at great risk to expose
Just how dreadful
our food industry had become, and now the public knows
The nastiness of
slaughterhouses and unsanitary meat packing –
What better time
to give our food supply the cleanliness it’s lacking!
Not to mention
patent medicines, bottled up by snake oil salesmen
Although snake oil
would be healthier for those who were seriously ailing!
All manner of
trash and poison, sugar water and addictive drugs
Were packed up and
sold without control, like they were Persian rugs!
So off to Congress
I’ll now send my latest presentation –
To create a brand
new Federal Food and Drug Administration!
And I’ll sign a
law to protect our country’s sacred antiquities
From looters and
commercial dealers who are stealing with great ease.
More national
parks and monuments! More beautiful
places set aside
For future
generations to behold with great wonder and pride!
I cannot rest upon my laurels, nor waste too much time on debate –
I cannot rest upon my laurels, nor waste too much time on debate –
Next week will be
time to admit Oklahoma as America’s forty-sixth state!
I need to regulate
railroads better, and create Employer’s Liability laws
Four years will be
gone in a flash! I simply can’t afford
to pause!
Once the mid-term
elections have come and gone, I know what will happen –
Congress will sit
on its arse and wait, unless I give them a good slapping!
They know my time is limited, they think all action can be deferred –
They know my time is limited, they think all action can be deferred –
To counter that
what I have to do is make my second term a blur!
Sec.
Root: Mister President,
‘tis nine o’clock! Your cabinet is drooping!
Don’t you think we
should adjourn, and spend tomorrow regrouping?
You can’t do
everything in a single day, no matter how hard you try –
And the finished
product will surely be better if it’s not all done on the fly!
TR: What say you, you old
layabout? You’re already getting tired?
Fine then, but be
here at six AM or the lot of you are fired!
As for me I think
I’ll change and practice some Japanese judo –
Anyone want to
wrestle me now, and earn Presidential kudos?
What? No? Fine then, I’ll practice all alone, and try
not to make noise;
But wait! Perhaps
my sons will wrestle me! Let me call
them! BOYS!!!!
(Ted Jr, Quentin,
Archie, and Kermit emerge from the residence and tackle their father, who rolls
around on the floor with them, shouting “Bully!!”)
Wednesday, June 27, 2018
HURT
(A humorous look at the results of yesterday's arrowhead excursion, with apologies to Trent Reznor and Johnny Cash)
I hurt myself yesterday,
To see if I could feel
In ancient piles of flint
An arrowhead to steal.
The flintshards tore a hole
In my finger tips.
My arms are burned bright red
And achy are my hips.
What on earth have I done,
My dearest friend?
Every joint I have
Screams at me when I bend.
And you can't have them, no!
These treasures from the dirt,
I worked too hard for them
And they made me hurt.
I cut my hands on thorns
And got a spider in my hair
To find a broke-off stem
Its maker did not repair.
Beneath the mud and slime
The arrowheads lie hid
Some of them I found
The rest someone else did.
What on earth have I done
My dearest friend?
Every joint I have
Screams at me when I bend!
And you can't have them, no!
These treasures from the dirt,
I worked too hard for them
And they made me hurt.
If I could go again
To find points in the dirt;
You know I'd grub some more
Even though it made me hurt.
I hurt myself yesterday,
To see if I could feel
In ancient piles of flint
An arrowhead to steal.
The flintshards tore a hole
In my finger tips.
My arms are burned bright red
And achy are my hips.
What on earth have I done,
My dearest friend?
Every joint I have
Screams at me when I bend.
And you can't have them, no!
These treasures from the dirt,
I worked too hard for them
And they made me hurt.
I cut my hands on thorns
And got a spider in my hair
To find a broke-off stem
Its maker did not repair.
Beneath the mud and slime
The arrowheads lie hid
Some of them I found
The rest someone else did.
What on earth have I done
My dearest friend?
Every joint I have
Screams at me when I bend!
And you can't have them, no!
These treasures from the dirt,
I worked too hard for them
And they made me hurt.
If I could go again
To find points in the dirt;
You know I'd grub some more
Even though it made me hurt.
Tuesday, June 19, 2018
TR: THE MUSICAL - "The Election of 1904"
It started as a joke, early this year - one of my friends sent me a few couplets of an imaginary, HAMILTON-style musical about Theodore Roosevelt. That's when it hit me:
Why SHOULDN'T the most fascinating, audacious, brave, and innovative President in American history have his own musical? Of course, I can't write music - but I can rhyme with the best of them! So I started stringing together one song after another, and eventually I came up with a full, two act musical. This is a song from early in the second act, when the "accidental President" Theodore Roosevelt decides to run for a full term in his own right - and makes an unfortunate pledge in the process! I hope you enjoy it, and don't forget to check out my new author page:
www.lewisbensmith.com
Why SHOULDN'T the most fascinating, audacious, brave, and innovative President in American history have his own musical? Of course, I can't write music - but I can rhyme with the best of them! So I started stringing together one song after another, and eventually I came up with a full, two act musical. This is a song from early in the second act, when the "accidental President" Theodore Roosevelt decides to run for a full term in his own right - and makes an unfortunate pledge in the process! I hope you enjoy it, and don't forget to check out my new author page:
www.lewisbensmith.com
THE ELECTION
OF 1904
Alice
Roosevelt: My
Daddy’s accidental Presidency sparked a strong reaction;
By the end of his
first term the Republicans divided into factions –
You still had all
the Old Guard, the pawns of banks and railroads,
What a bunch of
fat cats! Dad called them “obsequious toads!”
Then you had the Progressives,
the men my father inspired greatly –
Ready to change
things for the better, reforming everything immediately!
The Democrats,
especially the ones down South, thought my Dad an awful sinner –
They blew their
tops when he dared invite a black man to a White House dinner!
But their party
was divided too, between Bryan and his populist progressives
And the Wall
Street, gold standard crew of bosses, crooks, and social regressives!
The only
competition my Daddy had was old Senator Mark Hanna –
Who had spent four
years promoting McKinley and playing second banana.
But wouldn’t you
know it, in February Senator Hanna started feeling badly,
Then he died and
left the GOP with no choice but to renominate my Daddy!
On the other side,
the Democrats over Bryan and Cleveland had to climb –
For twenty years
those two men had been nominated every single time!
But the bosses won
this round, while the Progressives were divided –
Judge Alton Parker
got the nod, and the Old Guard was delighted!
So now let’s join
my Presidential father as he hits the campaign trail –
Life is always fun
when the Democrats are guaranteed to fail!
TR: Well, gentlemen, I’ve
spoken my piece at length and fully –
In one word, our
country’s condition may be summed up as “Bully!”
Reforms are
underway, corruption is punished; our economy is thriving,
It’s always a
smooth ride when the Republicans do the driving!
America is now
respected and looked up to, our flag flies high around the world –
Why should we
change course and flee the field with our banners tightly furled?
If you like what
you have seen me do, since the year that I stepped up,
Then vote me a
term I can call my own, and I’ll be even harder to stop!
There’s still a
lot that I can do, to make this country a better place to live in –
Step up and
vote! Persuade your friends, and we’ll
see the Democrats give in!
I am your
President Theodore! I’m still young and
tough, so hear me roar!
I’ve got all kinds
of progressive plans, now that my foot’s through the door.
Slam it all you
want and I will grin and ask for more –
Now the whole
world surely knows the name of Theodore!
Reporter: Mister Roosevelt – you
were the youngest President ever at forty-two
And even if you
are re-elected, you’ll be just fifty when you bid us all adieu!
Have you given any
thought to breaking with George Washington’s tradition –
And run for
President again in ’08, and keep yourself in your current position?
It’s not against
the law, you know, to run for a third term in office,
So why not see if
the voters then, prefer you to some political novice?
TR:
(looking
thoughtful)
That’s a most excellent question, sire, and
I am glad that you inquired.
For you see, my
political opponents have often said that I’m inspired
By a lust for
power that’s no different from some brutal medieval despot!
So now let me set
their fears to rest, and give their minds a respite.
I succeeded
President McKinley when his term was only six months old;
I tried to be true
to his legacy, and still provide leadership strong and bold.
Now I ask for a
term of my own, something no accidental President has ever had.
If the voters
grant my wish, then I promise not to run again, for it would be bad
To break the
precedent so wisely set, by George Washington himself.
So once four years
have passed us by, I’ll return to the political shelf,
And leave the
White House open to whoever the voters decide to elect –
I’ll return to
civilian life, travel, write books, hunt, explore, and reflect
On this remarkable
nation that will have given me its highest honor,
And hope my humble
efforts will enrich and reflect glory on her.
Reporter: (rushes to the telephone)
Hold the presses,
boss, I’ve got a story that will dominate the front page –
Roosevelt just
totally ruled out a third term, despite his youthful age!
Progressives will
rue the day he made this pledge, make no mistake –
And the bosses now
will realize that they have finally caught a decent break!
No president has
ever served at such an early age as this one,
Now he’s gone and
pledged that this second term will end his mission!
(Scene
shifts to White House)
John
Hay: It’s official,
Mister President! You have my
congratulations!
You’ve been
re-elected by a landslide, by a majority of our nation.
It’s the biggest
win since James Monroe, who ran without any opposition –
You won every
state except the South, and crushed the Democrats’ ambitions.
It’s been an honor
serving you, but now I think I shall retire,
Enjoy my
grandchildren, and wish you well, whoever you may hire!
TR: Thank you, Mister Secretary;
it’s been an honor to be served by you –
Your expertise has
helped me often, as I pondered what else I should do.
I am elated that I
have won; the nation’s people have been most kind –
And yet I confess
that I am troubled by one thought in the back of my mind.
I feel guilty to
even mention it, on this blissful election day –
But confound it
all, thanks to my pledge – I only have four more years to play!
Saturday, June 9, 2018
SUMMER IS HERE! Time to Sell Some Books . . .
Ah, summer vacation in Texas! Time to enjoy the 98 degree heat every day (except on the REALLY hot days), those lovely thundershowers that drop the temperature to tolerable levels for an hour or two, then transform the whole outdoors into a giant sauna for the next three days, and mosquitos roughly the size of an F-22 Osprey lurking in the sky to inflict giant, stinging welts and occasionally carry off small children! And, of course, the fun things about summer: grilling outside, mowing the lawn (or paying someone else to do it while you sit inside and sip iced tea in air conditioned comfort), and experiencing the sweet joy of NOT having to get up at 5:30 every morning to go pound the ignorance out of young skulls full of mush on a day to day basis (this last applies only to schoolteachers, I guess).
But, when you are a schoolteacher AND a writer, like me, summer means it is time to knuckle down and hustle your rear end off to sell as many books as you can as fast as you can! You're no longer limited to just Saturdays, you have more time to call bookstores, civic groups, church groups, or anyone else who might be willing to have you come and give a talk - and set up a book table! To give you an idea of what this entails, here is an account of how the first nine days of June have gone for me:
June 1 - I loaded up my books, my wife, and two and a half tables' worth of Indian artifacts and fossils and headed down to Temple, TX for the annual Genuine Indian Relic Society's Artifact Show. Now, obviously, when I go to an arrowhead show, I am going to show and look at artifacts. But since most relic collectors are fascinated by history and archeology, I have found that my books do really well at these shows. (The presence of many bored spouses of these enthusiastic artifact hunters is another plus for selling books!) It's a 3 hour drive down to Temple, and we arrived about noon and set up my three tables. The first day is set up time, and preliminary wheeling and dealing between the exhibitors: I sold four copies of my books, walked around and looked at artifacts until my eyes were glazed over, and then we covered up our wares and went to our hotel. We checked in, ate supper on the cheap, and went for a swim before crashing for the night.
The next day we got up early, had breakfast, and then drove to the Mayborn Civic Center for the big event. Two hundred and fifty tables of Indian artifacts, fossils, jewelry - one enterprising collector even had arrowhead- shaped lollipops called "Artisnacks" for sale! It was a fascinating day, lots of killer relics on display and old friends stopping by to visit - and oh how I sold the books! My two day total at the show was nineteen books sold, plus a brisk trade in my fossils and several arrowhead sales. (I don't sell personal finds, but I do keep a small stock of points on hand that I have bought and traded for over the years to sell at these shows.) The unique bone artifact I described in my last blog post drew a lot of attention and curious commentary; many collectors seem to think it may be Paleo-Indian in age (that would mean it is over 10,000 years old - WOW!!).
All in all, it was a fun and satisfying day. When it was over, we packed up my tables and went back to our hotel - the road trip wasn't done yet! We celebrated the day's sales with a big dinner at Texas Roadhouse, home of some downright legendary rib eyes, all the free peanuts you can eat, and wonderful, friendly servers. Full of steak and the sweet taste of success, my wife and I retired back to our hotel room. Too tired to swim, she crashed early, while I stayed up till midnight to watch the Rangers beat the Angels in a 3-2 pitching duel. The next morning, we packed up and headed down to Austin, TX!
Bookpeople is the name of one of Texas' oldest and largest independent bookstores. I have been trying to schedule an event there for three years, and now it finally came to pass! The store had already purchased multiple copies of my newest novel, THE GNOSTIC LIBRARY, plus a few copies of the first two books in the series, THE TESTIMONIUM and MATTHEW'S AUTOGRAPH. This place does over 300 author events a year, so my being there was not a novelty to the store's patrons. But still, I got to give a talk and read a sample chapter to my small audience, after which I sold a few copies, and left about 20 signed copies of my newest book for them to sell. Having books on the shelf in a store - especially THAT store - was a huge moral victory for me! Plus seeing my name on the marquis where writers like John Grisham, Stephen King, Anne Rice, and Dan Rather have been billed made me feel like I had really arrived as a writer!
Austin is a fun town. While we were there, I took my wife to lunch at Chuy's - the original location on Barton Springs Road is some of the best Tex-Mex food you will ever eat, plus a wonderfully fun atmosphere! We also went for a stroll along the Colorado River and watched all the young, skinny, beautiful people kayaking and swimming in the river. Other than being a sad reminder that we are no longer young or that skinny (although my wife is still very beautiful), it was a great way to kill a little time while waiting for my signing event to start.
But, we couldn't stay away from home too long. That evening we made the four hour drive back to Greenville, and I had a few days to rest and recuperate and do laundry before my next event, on Thursday, June 7. Tyler, TX is about an hour and a half away from my home, and the Half Price Books store there is a wonderful, author-friendly place. I got there a little after noon, set my table up, put my poster in the window, and started selling! It was a bit slow at first, then more and more people began coming in and I began to move a few books. One very nice older gentleman bought a copy of THE GNOSTIC LIBRARY, and took one of my new brochures with him. Each brochure has a synopsis of all five of my novels, plus a nice bio written for me by a close friend. Well, an hour later, the gentleman returned with his wife, and they bought the other four books based on what they had read in the brochure! That made for a very nice day, with twelve sales totaled. After a quick supper at Golden Corral on the way home, I drove back in one of those previously mentioned summer thundershowers.
After one day to rest and recuperate from that trip, today (June 9) I drove over to Denton, TX - about the same distance as Tyler in the opposite direction. Highway 380 is a straight shot from Greenville to Denton, but this once rural stretch has built up so much the last few years that I drove through 50 traffic lights in 70 miles (yes, I counted them, I was bored!). But I did get there safely, and then got to set up in my favorite bookstore in Texas: Recycled Books! Three stories of books, old and new, rare and common, plus movies, music, memorabilia, friendly staff, and the store is housed inside a hundred year old opera house, across the street from one of the most beautiful courthouses in Texas! It was a lovely warm day, and people were coming and going through the square and in and out of the store in a steady flow of human traffic. I sold a total of fourteen copies in a little over five hours; not a bad day at all, especially considering I hit an incredible lull with no sales at all from about 3 pm till 4:30. But that is how you do it, folks, if you want to be a writer - one copy at a time, one sale at a time, one reader at a time, one store at a time - until the world is your burrito!
Next week I have a conference call with a publicist who has been helping me out with my new website, and a dinner meeting with a screenwriter who wants to adapt THE TESTIMONIUM into a feature film. It's a very preliminary step in a very long process, but I have high hopes! After that - more signings, more speaking gigs, more bookstores and churches and civic clubs - until August 23 rolls around, and the young skulls full of mush will once more absorb a majority of my attention!
In the meantime, feel free to check out my new website, and if you have never read any of my books - or if you have read one and want to get the others! - click on the links and buy, buy, buy! Thanks again for reading my little corner of the internet, and have a great summer!!
https://lewisbensmith.com/
But, when you are a schoolteacher AND a writer, like me, summer means it is time to knuckle down and hustle your rear end off to sell as many books as you can as fast as you can! You're no longer limited to just Saturdays, you have more time to call bookstores, civic groups, church groups, or anyone else who might be willing to have you come and give a talk - and set up a book table! To give you an idea of what this entails, here is an account of how the first nine days of June have gone for me:
June 1 - I loaded up my books, my wife, and two and a half tables' worth of Indian artifacts and fossils and headed down to Temple, TX for the annual Genuine Indian Relic Society's Artifact Show. Now, obviously, when I go to an arrowhead show, I am going to show and look at artifacts. But since most relic collectors are fascinated by history and archeology, I have found that my books do really well at these shows. (The presence of many bored spouses of these enthusiastic artifact hunters is another plus for selling books!) It's a 3 hour drive down to Temple, and we arrived about noon and set up my three tables. The first day is set up time, and preliminary wheeling and dealing between the exhibitors: I sold four copies of my books, walked around and looked at artifacts until my eyes were glazed over, and then we covered up our wares and went to our hotel. We checked in, ate supper on the cheap, and went for a swim before crashing for the night.
The next day we got up early, had breakfast, and then drove to the Mayborn Civic Center for the big event. Two hundred and fifty tables of Indian artifacts, fossils, jewelry - one enterprising collector even had arrowhead- shaped lollipops called "Artisnacks" for sale! It was a fascinating day, lots of killer relics on display and old friends stopping by to visit - and oh how I sold the books! My two day total at the show was nineteen books sold, plus a brisk trade in my fossils and several arrowhead sales. (I don't sell personal finds, but I do keep a small stock of points on hand that I have bought and traded for over the years to sell at these shows.) The unique bone artifact I described in my last blog post drew a lot of attention and curious commentary; many collectors seem to think it may be Paleo-Indian in age (that would mean it is over 10,000 years old - WOW!!).
All in all, it was a fun and satisfying day. When it was over, we packed up my tables and went back to our hotel - the road trip wasn't done yet! We celebrated the day's sales with a big dinner at Texas Roadhouse, home of some downright legendary rib eyes, all the free peanuts you can eat, and wonderful, friendly servers. Full of steak and the sweet taste of success, my wife and I retired back to our hotel room. Too tired to swim, she crashed early, while I stayed up till midnight to watch the Rangers beat the Angels in a 3-2 pitching duel. The next morning, we packed up and headed down to Austin, TX!
Bookpeople is the name of one of Texas' oldest and largest independent bookstores. I have been trying to schedule an event there for three years, and now it finally came to pass! The store had already purchased multiple copies of my newest novel, THE GNOSTIC LIBRARY, plus a few copies of the first two books in the series, THE TESTIMONIUM and MATTHEW'S AUTOGRAPH. This place does over 300 author events a year, so my being there was not a novelty to the store's patrons. But still, I got to give a talk and read a sample chapter to my small audience, after which I sold a few copies, and left about 20 signed copies of my newest book for them to sell. Having books on the shelf in a store - especially THAT store - was a huge moral victory for me! Plus seeing my name on the marquis where writers like John Grisham, Stephen King, Anne Rice, and Dan Rather have been billed made me feel like I had really arrived as a writer!
Austin is a fun town. While we were there, I took my wife to lunch at Chuy's - the original location on Barton Springs Road is some of the best Tex-Mex food you will ever eat, plus a wonderfully fun atmosphere! We also went for a stroll along the Colorado River and watched all the young, skinny, beautiful people kayaking and swimming in the river. Other than being a sad reminder that we are no longer young or that skinny (although my wife is still very beautiful), it was a great way to kill a little time while waiting for my signing event to start.
But, we couldn't stay away from home too long. That evening we made the four hour drive back to Greenville, and I had a few days to rest and recuperate and do laundry before my next event, on Thursday, June 7. Tyler, TX is about an hour and a half away from my home, and the Half Price Books store there is a wonderful, author-friendly place. I got there a little after noon, set my table up, put my poster in the window, and started selling! It was a bit slow at first, then more and more people began coming in and I began to move a few books. One very nice older gentleman bought a copy of THE GNOSTIC LIBRARY, and took one of my new brochures with him. Each brochure has a synopsis of all five of my novels, plus a nice bio written for me by a close friend. Well, an hour later, the gentleman returned with his wife, and they bought the other four books based on what they had read in the brochure! That made for a very nice day, with twelve sales totaled. After a quick supper at Golden Corral on the way home, I drove back in one of those previously mentioned summer thundershowers.
After one day to rest and recuperate from that trip, today (June 9) I drove over to Denton, TX - about the same distance as Tyler in the opposite direction. Highway 380 is a straight shot from Greenville to Denton, but this once rural stretch has built up so much the last few years that I drove through 50 traffic lights in 70 miles (yes, I counted them, I was bored!). But I did get there safely, and then got to set up in my favorite bookstore in Texas: Recycled Books! Three stories of books, old and new, rare and common, plus movies, music, memorabilia, friendly staff, and the store is housed inside a hundred year old opera house, across the street from one of the most beautiful courthouses in Texas! It was a lovely warm day, and people were coming and going through the square and in and out of the store in a steady flow of human traffic. I sold a total of fourteen copies in a little over five hours; not a bad day at all, especially considering I hit an incredible lull with no sales at all from about 3 pm till 4:30. But that is how you do it, folks, if you want to be a writer - one copy at a time, one sale at a time, one reader at a time, one store at a time - until the world is your burrito!
Next week I have a conference call with a publicist who has been helping me out with my new website, and a dinner meeting with a screenwriter who wants to adapt THE TESTIMONIUM into a feature film. It's a very preliminary step in a very long process, but I have high hopes! After that - more signings, more speaking gigs, more bookstores and churches and civic clubs - until August 23 rolls around, and the young skulls full of mush will once more absorb a majority of my attention!
In the meantime, feel free to check out my new website, and if you have never read any of my books - or if you have read one and want to get the others! - click on the links and buy, buy, buy! Thanks again for reading my little corner of the internet, and have a great summer!!
https://lewisbensmith.com/
Wednesday, May 30, 2018
A MORNING AT THE RIVER . . .
LONG before I was an author, a teacher, a father, a husband, or a pastor, or any of the other hats that I wear every day, I was an arrowhead collector. I found my first one when I was five years old, and got seriously into collecting them when I was twelve or so. Which means that for over forty years now, I have trekked along creek and river beds, washed out gullies, eroded shorelines, and plowed fields in search of these little stone points and the other artifacts made by the first Americans. By the time I graduated high school, I had over 1200 complete artifacts - mainly arrowheads and spearheads, plus a few other assorted relics of different types, as well as box after box of broken ones. Today, my collection totals almost 9000 whole pieces, all of them painstakingly catalogued in one massive notebook that I started writing in back in 1977.
But in recent years, my collecting has slowed down a lot. Work takes a toll, doing book events nearly every Saturday is another factor, and more than anything, helping my family as we provide home care for my invalid mother-in-law often leaves me too exhausted to even think about getting out and hiking on Saturdays, when I am off work and free to do so. The last time I went artifact hunting before this past weekend was in March, one of the longest gaps in my collecting history. So, with school done for the year and summer looming ahead, I decided that Memorial Day was going to be devoted to the search for artifacts!
I almost talked myself out of it. My regular partner has had some health issues and isn't able to get out much, the forecast high Monday was in the upper 90's, plus nobody else was free to go with me! I woke up at 7 AM Monday morning and stared at the ceiling a long time while I tried to make up my mind if it was worth it to get out or not. But doggone it! I wanted to find an arrowhead, even if it was a beat-up, damaged example of the most common sort of point in our area (known as the Gary point, in case you were wondering. About 65% of all points found here in NE Texas are Gary points). So I got up, pulled on a tattered pair of cargo pants and my favorite hunting shirt (one with big pockets that button down and can hold a lot of small stone pieces), then clapped my "Indiana Jones" hat on my head, and out the door I went, headed to the Sulphur River.
The North Sulphur is a mecca for fossil and artifact collectors from all over Texas - indeed, from all over the world. I have met collectors from Maryland, Germany, California, and Maine in the river at one time or another (probably other places as well). It is an artificially channeled river; once a winding East Texas creek, it was straightened in the 1920's so that it would drain more quickly and not flood the surrounding farmlands every year. But water that runs faster carries away more soil, and the channel that was twenty feet wide and ten feet deep when it was dug is now a hundred yards wide and forty feet deep, thanks to the wonders of erosion. Most of the time the river is pretty dry - a meandering stream of water running through countless gravel bars. Often, in the heat of the Texas summer, it dries up altogether. Cutting as deep as it does, it washes out Indian artifacts from the top 20 feet or so of loam, Pleistocene animal bones from the yellow clay layer beneath, and Cretaceous marine fauna from the blue/grey shale that forms the bottom of the river today. So on a given trip, you might find bits of bone and enamel from mammoths and mastodons, a vertebrae from a mosasaurus, a shark's tooth, or an Indian arrowhead. Sometimes you find all three on the same gravel bar!
When I got to the river a little after 8:30, there were two trucks parked at the bridge I had wanted to put in at - I could see several hunters already meandering on the gravel bars downstream. No worries; I have hunted this river since 1987 and know more than one entry point! I took off down a county road towards an old gravel ramp I knew of, not quite as well known to hunters from outside our area. As I was bopping down the road, I spotted a small snake in the middle of it. As previously noted on this blog, I LOVE snakes, so I got out and caught him, snapped a quick picture, and then deposited him in the ditch on the side of the road he was headed for. He was a Prairie Kingsnake, one of my favorite local species, and very docile. I figured that finding him was maybe a bit of a good luck charm! Sure enough, when I got down to the old ramp, no one was parked there, so the good luck had already begun.
The ramp is a sad shadow of its glory days, when it was an actual rock road regularly used every summer by county road crews hauling gravel (and who knows how many nice points and fossils!) out of the river to pave local roads with. Since the state forbade motor vehicles operating in rivers about a decade ago, the old ramps have all been abandoned to the elements. There is still a pretty decent trail here, albeit an overgrown one - but the last six feet or so is a pretty steep scramble, and an even harder climb out. But, "Indiana Smith" was on the prowl, ready to come home with a nice artifact of some sort - or even an ugly one! So I scrambled down into the river and started looking.
Normally I go upstream from this ramp, because there are several miles of solid gravel bars with only one or two water holes you have to wade through. But this day I looked downstream and saw that, where normally there was only water with two or three small bars showing, now there were solid gravel bars for a half mile or so, with only a little water flowing in between. So I started searching, eyes to the ground, flicking over every rock that looked like it might be pointed or have a worked edge. I found a small fossilized snail and a few bits of mineralized bone in the first few minutes, so I felt like I was off to a good start. There were some footprints there, but most of them were partially washed away by the last rain shower several days before, so I had no recent competition at least!
After about 30 minutes of slowly crisscrossing back and forth, keeping my line of footprints about 3 feet over from my last pass - the most effective way to avoid missing anything - I got my first artifact. It was half buried in the sand, but it was unmistakably flaked. I pulled out my phone and took an "in situ" picture, and then flipped it out. It was a small, ovate knife blade - no shoulders or stem, but carefully flaked and shaped, a definite "counter". I put it in my pocket, happy that my nearly two month long dry spell had been broken. A few minutes later, I found a fossilized mosasaur tooth, and then, after that, a nice colorful bit of mastodon enamel. It was shaping up to be a pretty good day, but boy! it was getting hot. I was already halfway through my first bottle of Gatorade.
About an hour later, having picked up a few other odds and ends, I spotted an odd piece of bone a few feet away. Now, in the river there are two kinds of bone. Fossilized bone from the Cretaceous period is completely petrified and is usually black, grey, or brown. But more recent bone - either the odd bits from the Pleistocene period, or the far more common cow, deer, and horse bones that wash into the river from the surrounding farmlands - are still white. This piece was white, so I knew it wasn't a fossil, but the end looked oddly squared off. I decided to check it out on my next pass, when it would be right in my path. So I made my way to the bank, turned around, and headed back, keeping an eye out for it. When I got close, I saw that the end was indeed artificially squared off - not only that, but as I bent over, I saw that the edges were incised in a crosshatched pattern!
Bone artifacts are rare in this region, and usually when you find them they are badly weathered. Over the years I have found several bone awls - most of them in bad condition, but a few still nicely polished. I had one drilled bear tooth that I found in 2004, but unfortunately I sold it a few years later when we were hard up for money. Not far from where I was hunting on this trip, some six years ago, I had found a drilled conch shell pendant. But I had never found a piece of incised bone before! I was so excited I forgot all about taking an "in situ" shot. Instead, I scooped up the piece so I could study it more closely. It was about five inches long, made of some pretty thick, heavy bone - most likely a bison femur, flat, and tapered to a point at one end. The top was squared off, and on both sides it had that crosshatch pattern carved deep into the bone. It was weathered, but not too severely - you could still make out some of the original polish in places.
What was it? A bone spearhead, a netmaking tool, a dagger? The edges were too blunt and thick for it to have served as a knife, but the thin, tapered point sure could have penetrated any animal's hide if driven with a fair amount of force. Even as I finished hunting the string of gravel bars I was on, I kept pulling it out and looking at it. I found a few other things - a broken dart point, another mosasaur tooth, and some small pieces of fossilized bone and shell - but my day was made. By 11 AM I was turned around, heading back to the old gravel ramp, and then up and out of the river. My hands were still shaking slightly as I held my remarkable find, and I couldn't wait to hear people's opinions on it at the next artifact show.
It's been a long time since I found a truly memorable artifact, but on this day that is exactly what I got. My summer was off to a fine start, and I know there is another killer artifact out there, somewhere, ready to come home with me on the next trip!
If you would like to see the pictures from this trip, they are posted in this thread at my favorite artifact forum: http://www.arrowheadology.com/forums/today-s-finds-and-in-situ-/63545-starting-off-summer-bang.html
And please, don't forget to check out my new author website: https://lewisbensmith.com/
Thanks, as always, for reading this chronicle of my life.
But in recent years, my collecting has slowed down a lot. Work takes a toll, doing book events nearly every Saturday is another factor, and more than anything, helping my family as we provide home care for my invalid mother-in-law often leaves me too exhausted to even think about getting out and hiking on Saturdays, when I am off work and free to do so. The last time I went artifact hunting before this past weekend was in March, one of the longest gaps in my collecting history. So, with school done for the year and summer looming ahead, I decided that Memorial Day was going to be devoted to the search for artifacts!
I almost talked myself out of it. My regular partner has had some health issues and isn't able to get out much, the forecast high Monday was in the upper 90's, plus nobody else was free to go with me! I woke up at 7 AM Monday morning and stared at the ceiling a long time while I tried to make up my mind if it was worth it to get out or not. But doggone it! I wanted to find an arrowhead, even if it was a beat-up, damaged example of the most common sort of point in our area (known as the Gary point, in case you were wondering. About 65% of all points found here in NE Texas are Gary points). So I got up, pulled on a tattered pair of cargo pants and my favorite hunting shirt (one with big pockets that button down and can hold a lot of small stone pieces), then clapped my "Indiana Jones" hat on my head, and out the door I went, headed to the Sulphur River.
The North Sulphur is a mecca for fossil and artifact collectors from all over Texas - indeed, from all over the world. I have met collectors from Maryland, Germany, California, and Maine in the river at one time or another (probably other places as well). It is an artificially channeled river; once a winding East Texas creek, it was straightened in the 1920's so that it would drain more quickly and not flood the surrounding farmlands every year. But water that runs faster carries away more soil, and the channel that was twenty feet wide and ten feet deep when it was dug is now a hundred yards wide and forty feet deep, thanks to the wonders of erosion. Most of the time the river is pretty dry - a meandering stream of water running through countless gravel bars. Often, in the heat of the Texas summer, it dries up altogether. Cutting as deep as it does, it washes out Indian artifacts from the top 20 feet or so of loam, Pleistocene animal bones from the yellow clay layer beneath, and Cretaceous marine fauna from the blue/grey shale that forms the bottom of the river today. So on a given trip, you might find bits of bone and enamel from mammoths and mastodons, a vertebrae from a mosasaurus, a shark's tooth, or an Indian arrowhead. Sometimes you find all three on the same gravel bar!
When I got to the river a little after 8:30, there were two trucks parked at the bridge I had wanted to put in at - I could see several hunters already meandering on the gravel bars downstream. No worries; I have hunted this river since 1987 and know more than one entry point! I took off down a county road towards an old gravel ramp I knew of, not quite as well known to hunters from outside our area. As I was bopping down the road, I spotted a small snake in the middle of it. As previously noted on this blog, I LOVE snakes, so I got out and caught him, snapped a quick picture, and then deposited him in the ditch on the side of the road he was headed for. He was a Prairie Kingsnake, one of my favorite local species, and very docile. I figured that finding him was maybe a bit of a good luck charm! Sure enough, when I got down to the old ramp, no one was parked there, so the good luck had already begun.
The ramp is a sad shadow of its glory days, when it was an actual rock road regularly used every summer by county road crews hauling gravel (and who knows how many nice points and fossils!) out of the river to pave local roads with. Since the state forbade motor vehicles operating in rivers about a decade ago, the old ramps have all been abandoned to the elements. There is still a pretty decent trail here, albeit an overgrown one - but the last six feet or so is a pretty steep scramble, and an even harder climb out. But, "Indiana Smith" was on the prowl, ready to come home with a nice artifact of some sort - or even an ugly one! So I scrambled down into the river and started looking.
Normally I go upstream from this ramp, because there are several miles of solid gravel bars with only one or two water holes you have to wade through. But this day I looked downstream and saw that, where normally there was only water with two or three small bars showing, now there were solid gravel bars for a half mile or so, with only a little water flowing in between. So I started searching, eyes to the ground, flicking over every rock that looked like it might be pointed or have a worked edge. I found a small fossilized snail and a few bits of mineralized bone in the first few minutes, so I felt like I was off to a good start. There were some footprints there, but most of them were partially washed away by the last rain shower several days before, so I had no recent competition at least!
After about 30 minutes of slowly crisscrossing back and forth, keeping my line of footprints about 3 feet over from my last pass - the most effective way to avoid missing anything - I got my first artifact. It was half buried in the sand, but it was unmistakably flaked. I pulled out my phone and took an "in situ" picture, and then flipped it out. It was a small, ovate knife blade - no shoulders or stem, but carefully flaked and shaped, a definite "counter". I put it in my pocket, happy that my nearly two month long dry spell had been broken. A few minutes later, I found a fossilized mosasaur tooth, and then, after that, a nice colorful bit of mastodon enamel. It was shaping up to be a pretty good day, but boy! it was getting hot. I was already halfway through my first bottle of Gatorade.
About an hour later, having picked up a few other odds and ends, I spotted an odd piece of bone a few feet away. Now, in the river there are two kinds of bone. Fossilized bone from the Cretaceous period is completely petrified and is usually black, grey, or brown. But more recent bone - either the odd bits from the Pleistocene period, or the far more common cow, deer, and horse bones that wash into the river from the surrounding farmlands - are still white. This piece was white, so I knew it wasn't a fossil, but the end looked oddly squared off. I decided to check it out on my next pass, when it would be right in my path. So I made my way to the bank, turned around, and headed back, keeping an eye out for it. When I got close, I saw that the end was indeed artificially squared off - not only that, but as I bent over, I saw that the edges were incised in a crosshatched pattern!
Bone artifacts are rare in this region, and usually when you find them they are badly weathered. Over the years I have found several bone awls - most of them in bad condition, but a few still nicely polished. I had one drilled bear tooth that I found in 2004, but unfortunately I sold it a few years later when we were hard up for money. Not far from where I was hunting on this trip, some six years ago, I had found a drilled conch shell pendant. But I had never found a piece of incised bone before! I was so excited I forgot all about taking an "in situ" shot. Instead, I scooped up the piece so I could study it more closely. It was about five inches long, made of some pretty thick, heavy bone - most likely a bison femur, flat, and tapered to a point at one end. The top was squared off, and on both sides it had that crosshatch pattern carved deep into the bone. It was weathered, but not too severely - you could still make out some of the original polish in places.
What was it? A bone spearhead, a netmaking tool, a dagger? The edges were too blunt and thick for it to have served as a knife, but the thin, tapered point sure could have penetrated any animal's hide if driven with a fair amount of force. Even as I finished hunting the string of gravel bars I was on, I kept pulling it out and looking at it. I found a few other things - a broken dart point, another mosasaur tooth, and some small pieces of fossilized bone and shell - but my day was made. By 11 AM I was turned around, heading back to the old gravel ramp, and then up and out of the river. My hands were still shaking slightly as I held my remarkable find, and I couldn't wait to hear people's opinions on it at the next artifact show.
It's been a long time since I found a truly memorable artifact, but on this day that is exactly what I got. My summer was off to a fine start, and I know there is another killer artifact out there, somewhere, ready to come home with me on the next trip!
If you would like to see the pictures from this trip, they are posted in this thread at my favorite artifact forum: http://www.arrowheadology.com/forums/today-s-finds-and-in-situ-/63545-starting-off-summer-bang.html
And please, don't forget to check out my new author website: https://lewisbensmith.com/
Thanks, as always, for reading this chronicle of my life.
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