Saturday, March 13, 2021

Creating the Perfect HAMILTON "Blurb"

      Once a novel has been accepted for publication, one of the tasks generally left to the author is creating the "blurb" that will go on the back of the book.  Other than the cover (because, contrary to popular opinion, many people do judge the book by what they see on the front!), the blurb is the most critical component of persuading people to buy your book.  You have one paragraph, maybe two, to set the hook and persuade a total stranger that your story is worth spending their hard-earned money on. A poorly written blurb can turn readers away from a perfectly wonderful story; a compelling blurb can sometimes sell a bad book.   The choices are intimidating.  How much of the story do you want to give away? Should you go for short and punchy, or try to explain your plot a bit more fully?

     PRESIDENT HAMILTON isn't my first rodeo.  I have five novels already in print, all of which have gotten excellent reviews.  I've written some blurbs I'm proud of and a couple I wish I'd taken another run at before submitting.  For my last three books, I have composed two or three different version of the blurb and let my family, friends, students, and co-workers take a look at them and tell me which ones they liked.  So, for my latest work, I came up with these three options:

On July 11, 1804, a single bullet changed the course of U.S.         

                                           history . . .

                      BUT NOT IN THE WAY YOU THINK!

 

          After nearly perishing from an infected bullet wound suffered in his duel with Vice President Aaron Burr, Alexander Hamilton returns to politics. A vision of the future compels him to dare anything and everything to stop the spread of slavery in the young United States, and fight for its abolition in the states where it already exists.  He sets his eyes on the Senate, and then the White House, enlisting former allies and reconciling with old enemies in his quest to become President and crush slavery.

            Overcoming incredible odds, facing down enemies at home and abroad, Hamilton moves with steadfast perseverance towards his goal – to prevent the Civil War he has foreseen by removing its cause in advance.  But there are some who will stop at nothing to derail President Hamilton’s crusade for liberty.  Will they succeed? Can one man change the course of history? 

            PRESIDENT HAMILTON will take you on a thrilling ride through a history of America that never was, but could have been, and answers the question of how much he could have done - if he’d only had time.


      This blurb had an interesting history.  My beta reader Ellie, whose advice means a great deal to me, hated this one.  When I submitted it to a couple of Hamilton forums online, most readers didn't like the copy, although several said the tagline was very effective. But when I let my students read all three of these, this one was their overwhelming favorite.  The other two versions got maybe a dozen votes between them, this one over 80.   I think what sold it was the last line, which links it to the HAMILTON musical.  But I wasn't sure of the legality of using such a direct link, and I thought the first paragraph was rather weak.  Still, it was hard to ignore such a "strong popular vote" among the teens who, admittedly, are a big part of my target audience.

 

                What if the most famous duel in history . . .

                              Had ended differently?

 

          Alexander Hamilton lies wounded and feverish after a deadly duel that ended the life of Vice President Burr.  As he hovers near death, he catches a glimpse of what lies ahead for his country – and sees a Civil War that will consume a generation and poison America’s future.  Upon his recovery, Hamilton returns to politics with a new vision that compels him to risk everything to achieve his goal – to stop the spread of slavery and prevent the horrors he has foreseen.

            Making new allies and reconciling with old enemies, Hamilton is filled with a new sense of purpose, determined to use the powers of the Presidency to save his adopted country from the peril it faces.  Many Americans join him on his crusade for liberty, but others will stop at nothing to protect the “peculiar institution.”  Can President Hamilton change history?

            PRESIDENT HAMILTON will show you the Founding Fathers and their successors in a whole new light as you join them in a thrilling battle for the future – and the very soul – of America!

 

           My online readers favored this version by a three-to-one margin, and Ellie thought it was the best by far, but I had some problems with it.  The tagline at the top was the weakest of the three, and I thought that it left out too much of the scope of the novel.  A little tease is one thing, but a writer has to "show a little leg" to make the sale sometimes.  Still, adult readers seemed to like this one.  

 

                         ONE BULLET CHANGED THE WORLD

 

            What if the duel with Aaron Burr was the beginning of Alexander Hamilton’s political odyssey, instead of its conclusion?  After nearly dying from an infected bullet wound, Hamilton returns to politics with a new purpose, derived from a fevered vision of America’s future.  Determined to prevent a civil war that will consume hundreds of thousands of lives and poison the nation’s future, Alex re-enters politics and launches a bid for the Presidency.  Mending fences with old enemies and rekindling former friendships, Hamilton uses every political stratagem he knows, and invents some new ones along the way, all focused on stopping the spread of slavery into America’s new territories and rolling it back where it already exists.

            PRESIDENT HAMILTON reintroduces the founding generation – the brilliant, crafty Thomas Jefferson, the diminutive genius James Madison, and professional curmudgeon John Adams – and introduces us to the next generation of American leaders – Henry Clay, John C. Calhoun, John Quincy Adams, and Andrew Jackson – in a lively epic of alternative history that begins with the famous duel at Weehawken and rewrites the history of the early 19th century.  Can Alex persuade the Southern states to abandon their “peculiar institution?”  Can his powers of persuasion move the conscience of a nation?  Can one man change history? 


     I originally wrote only the first two versions, but after sleeping on it and thinking about it, I put this one together.  Several of my students and co-workers liked the fact that I mentioned some of the founders who are characters in my story; but others pointed out that the tag line was a bit . . . brutal, perhaps?  As I re-read it and looked at the comments that people made, I came to see that the first paragraph was a bit too wordy.  However, my friend and co-worker Tom Witt made the best suggestion of them all.  He wrote a question beneath the tag line that summed up the heart of my story so effectively that I read it and let out an involuntary Sheldon Cooper "Bazinga!" on the spot!  So after mulling over all three versions,  reading all the comments, and discussing things online,  I came up with the final version of my blurb:


       On July 11, 1804, a single bullet changed the course of                                           American history . . .

                         BUT WHAT IF IT DIDN’T?

 

            Alexander Hamilton lies wounded and feverish after a deadly duel that ended the life of Vice President Burr.  Hovering near death, he catches a glimpse of what lies ahead – and sees a Civil War that will consume a generation and poison America’s future.  This vision compels him to return to the political arena.  He sets his eyes on the Senate, and then the White House, enlisting former allies and reconciling with old enemies in his quest to become President and crush slavery.   Overcoming great odds while facing down enemies at home and abroad, Hamilton moves steadily toward his goal - but there are some who will stop at nothing to derail the President’s crusade for liberty.  Will they succeed?

            PRESIDENT HAMILTON reintroduces us to the founding generation – the brilliant, crafty Thomas Jefferson, the diminutive genius James Madison, and professional curmudgeon John Adams – and brings on the next generation of American leaders – Henry Clay, John C. Calhoun, John Quincy Adams, and Andrew Jackson – in a lively epic of alternative history that begins with the famous duel at Weehawken and rewrites the history of the 19th century.  Can Hamilton persuade the Southern states to change their course? Can his powers of persuasion move the conscience of a nation?  Can one man change history?    

Turn the page and see. . . 


     I put this version online for commentary and got universally positive feedback, plus a couple of minor grammatical corrections that made it smoother and more compelling.  The more I read over this one, the better I liked it.  It combined the best elements of all three versions, and included Tom's brilliant question in the tag line.  After letting it set for a few days, I read it again to make sure I was truly satisfied with this version, and then sent it off to my publisher.  Now comes the hardest part . . . waiting.  July 6 can't get here soon enough!!!


     In the meantime, as I mentioned earlier, I do have five other titles in print.  Feel free to surf on over to Amazon and check them out!

https://www.amazon.com/s?i=stripbooks&rh=p_27%3ALewis+Ben+Smith&s=relevancerank&text=Lewis+Ben+Smith&ref=dp_byline_sr_book_1

 


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